At 50, the Stranger Things star David Harbour has seen enough to fill a few seasons of drama himself, and in a new interview with Esquire Spain, he opened up about love, regret, and those pesky rumors swirling around his name. When asked if he’d change anything, Harbour didn’t hesitate to get philosophical. “I would change either everything or nothing,” he said. “You either accept your path completely and realize that even the pain and the slip-ups and the mistakes are all part of the journey.” He compared life to a “house of cards,” saying once you change one thing, “you kind of have to change it all.”
That introspection probably hits a little closer to home these days. His four-year marriage to singer Lily Allen ended recently, and she hasn’t exactly kept quiet about what went wrong. In an interview with The Times, Allen said, “There are usually agreed-upon boundaries in relationships. But whether those boundaries are adhered to or not is becoming a grey area all of a sudden.” She went on to describe how dating apps have made commitment feel disposable — a sentiment that seems to hint at her breakup with Harbour. Her latest album, West End Girl, reportedly dives into that heartbreak.
While Allen has been unpacking her feelings through music, Harbour has been reflecting on how life’s chaos shapes his art. “If you’ve never been through anything, what do you really have to offer?” he said. “If I were to change anything, I’d change everything, and just make my life happy and silly… and then I wouldn’t be an artist anymore. And that would suck.” There’s a kind of brutal honesty there — the understanding that the same pain that wrecks your personal life can fuel your best work.
But the conversation doesn’t stop at heartbreak. Harbour’s also been caught in the storm of rumors involving Stranger Things co-star Millie Bobby Brown, now 21. Reports claim Brown filed a “bullying and harassment” complaint before filming the final season, detailing “pages and pages” of accusations that weren’t sexual in nature. Neither Netflix nor the actors have commented publicly, but it’s stirred enough noise to keep Reddit busy for weeks.
The two have shared a unique connection since 2016, when Brown was just 12. Harbour’s Jim Hopper became a surrogate father to her character Eleven, and off-screen that relationship mirrored reality. “Millie and I have always had sort of a special relationship because I knew her when she was so young,” Harbour once said on a podcast. “I have a real protective feeling for her. I worry about her and the fame and all that she has to struggle with.” He’s often spoken about wanting to shield her from the darker sides of celebrity, telling PEOPLE back in 2018 that Brown was “in the crosshairs of something extremely dangerous.”
Brown, for her part, has always described Harbour as a father figure. “Winona Ryder and David Harbour are like my parents,” she said at a panel years ago. “On set, they’re like, ‘Stop running, what are you eating, why are you eating that?’” That bond clearly went beyond acting — even if it came with its share of arguments. “We got angry at each other,” Brown admitted during PaleyFest in Los Angeles. “We are like father and daughter.”
For Harbour, that connection is complicated but meaningful. “There’s personal stuff that I want to do, and people that I want to love, and be good to and nurture,” he said. In the end, his honesty about pain and imperfection feels more revealing than any headline. Maybe that’s what makes him — messy love life, controversy, and all — one of Hollywood’s most relatable adults.
RELATED: Matthew Lillard Shocks Fans at Scream Event With Fiery ICE Outburst
